Ripping off the band-aid

Think future: If you had to choose a SINGLE word to describe 2020 to some fortunate soul that did not have to live through this (Maybe your future kids or grandkids), what word would you choose? A couple words that come to my mind are chaos, transformation, and comfort zone. This year we have all had to change up what we use to consider 'normal' and adapt to a new way of life. For many of us the virus forced us out of your comfort zone. What is the first thing that comes to mind when you think of 'how 2020 has pushed you out of your comfort zone?' I mean now is your opportunity, this is the year to do something you have never done before, right? Where no one can judge you because, hello it's 2020, nothing is NORMAL. This is your time to step outside your zone. Try something new.

For the longest time I have been curious about something that I knew was going to be painful - I knew it was going to make me cry and would honestly be EMBARRASSING. Which are exactly the reasons that I only 'thought' about it for YEARS, talked about it with friends, but never actually did it. This year has really been a challenging year for me in many ways - living the nomadic lifestyle has its ups and downs (mainly ups) and has allowed me to spend more time with my people and encouraged me to do things that push me out of my comfort zone.

For whatever reason, Sunday was the day. The day I was going to do the thing I knew was going to cause me pain and for some reason I wanted to do it more than anything. I woke up with a strange desire to make an appointment - I immediately grabbed my phone, did a quick google search of the business only to find out they didn't open until NOON. Crap, now I have 5 hours before I can even schedule an appointment. What if they couldn't get me in today, would I lose the nerve, would I chicken out like I had all those other times? What is the best way to forget about something that is consuming your mind? Distraction, good guess. I thought 'what would be the best way to distract myself for a few hours'? The gym. Orange Theory Fitness - this was perfect, I had just become a member a couple days before which means I get pushed into any class I want, even if they are full! This was exactly what I needed - a minimum of a 2 hour distraction.

Class came and went, it was extremely hard, but I expected that because I joined during HELL WEEK...who does that? Hell Week for those who haven't had the privilege to attend is one of the hardest weeks at OTF - there is hardly any rest time between rounds, the weight are heavier, and the number of reps is greater - it is a KILLER workout. (This is not a paid plug for OTF but if you are looking to challenge yourself, I highly recommend it.) Driving home from the gym I had now burned 3 hours, I only had 2 left before I could book my appointment. Obviously, the next thing to do is shower and that is just what I did.

Finally, the clock struck NOON, I dialed the number quickly, I could feel myself starting to lose my nerve. WHO VOLUNTEERS FOR PAIN?! ahh. A sweet little lady answered, I quickly told her a little bit about me and what I was looking for - I asked if they had availability for today. I nervously waited while she checked their calendar, I could feel myself starting to sweat - man-o-man, I was kinda hoping that she would say 'I'm sorry, we can't get you in today, but we are able to schedule you for a month from today'. That would have been the ideal answer, right? It would be on the calendar and I would have a whole month to build up the courage. She comes back, 'Hi Megan, Yes, it seems we do have availability today at 2p, would you like for me to go ahead and schedule your appointment?' OMG, she was not supposed to say that... I sat quietly for what seemed like MINUTES, really thinking about how brave I was feeling, could I really do this? YES, I blurted out. I'll take it. Immediately, I felt at peace. I had taken the first step, made the appointment. Go me! I then proceeded to ask the lady every question I could think of, one of the responses included "I have some people who take Tylenol about 30 minutes before their appointment". (yes, I know I spelled my name wrong, but let's be real, I KNOW she did not spell my name correct when she typed it in. ha ha)

Any guesses on where I am headed at 2p on a Sunday?

My attempt at 'relaxing' was me sitting on the couch watching "WINGS" (a 1990s sitcom that I had recently rediscovered on Hulu) and drinking a Dr. Pepper. Yes, that was me attempting to relax, but failing miserably. As the time passed by I could feel my anxiety kicking in - my heart was starting to beat just a little bit faster, thank you Apple Watch for the notification. Ugh. My phone dings, scares the poop out of me - I look to see that my sister, Jackie, has text me saying that she has decided to run some errands after church and won't be home when she expects. I quickly respond "oh, okay - no problem" and immediately begin to contemplate if I should tell her where I am headed. Someone should know right? I mean maybe she needs to be my emergency contact. I decided not to say anything, why because I had already overthought everything that she could possibly say and I wasn't ready for any of those responses. Yes, I am a chicken, it was embarrassing.

On the drive to my appointment I decided that I should in fact tell Jackie where I was going - truly, I could need someone to come and pick me up to drive me home. Better safe than sorry. She needed to know. I remember texting her and waiting what seemed like hours for her to respond back. Finally, I hear a 'ding' - it's Jackie. She is excited but nervous for me. Okay, at least someone knows now, I feel better. I arrived at the place EARLY - not sure if I was really that anxious or not a very good planner when it comes to figuring out drive time. Sitting there in the parking lot really does give you the time to think about what you are about to endure. I kept thinking, this is my chance - if I am going to leave, I need to do it now. No one, other than Jackie, knows I'm here, and people call and cancel appointments at the last minute all the time. No shame.

Like many of my car conversations, I sat in the parking lot and gave myself a pep talk. 'You can do this, Meghan. People do this all the time. You've already made the appointment, driven to the place, now all you need to do is get out and check in...that's it". (Side note: I really do want to share that this is a real conversation that I have with myself when I am parked outside waiting to do something that pushes me out of my comfort zone. I do it a lot. One would think it gets easier, but nope. It is still just as nerve-racking each time.) I grabbed my mask, opened the door and began to make my way inside. I nervously approached the front desk, letting her know I was here for my appointment. She politely asked, "how are you?"... girl, what a silly question. I replied anxiously, 'Well, I am nervous and worried that I might just run out of here before I get called back." She laughed, reassured me it was going to be okay and told me to have a seat.

Ugh, waiting rooms. The chairs are never comfortable, it's always freezing cold, and you have so many thoughts running through your head you are sweating. Such a strange feeling. Quick waiting room text exchange:

Me: I am about to leave.

Me: I'm scared

Me: I can't do this.

Jackie: Sending good vibes your way, sister.

Me: See image on left

Jackie: You got this.

Shit, I hear my name called there is no turning back now. We've made eye contact. As we are walking back to the room, I am thinking 'Does she think I am brave or can she see the fear in my eyes?' She shuts the door, introduces herself to me and says 'don't worry honey, I will take good care of you.' SHIT, she can see the fear. I am not a good faker.

Final opportunity to guess: Have you figured it out yet?

BRAZILIAN BIKINI WAX. Yes, you read that correctly. I decide to get waxed for no reason at all. Who does that?! Hello, I'm Meghan and I do things just because I WANT to! Also, if you don't know what a Brazilian Bikini wax is, I would recommend giving me a call or googling it! ;)

I completely understand if you stop reading here! I promise not to get too graphic about my experience but I did follow through and step out of my comfort zone - maybe my honesty will give someone that extra little push.

Hannah was my esthetician, she was wonderful. She immediately reassured me that I was her 8th client of the day and she has seen it all in her 4 years. I told her what I wanted and we began to talk about what was coming and what I could expect through the entire procedure. She left the room, I followed all of her instructions and waited for a knock on the door. I hear a knock and Hannah enters "Are you ready, Meghan?" Damn, if I don't hate the question. I replied, "of course not, I am still not sure why I am here. This is silly. Should I start with something less than a Brazilian?" She reassures me that 'she's got me' and will walk me through the whole thing and the best part is I can STOP anytime that I feel it is TOO MUCH. If that isn't the best news I've heard all day. I immediately gained confidence. "Let's do this".

Hannah proceeds to ask me if I want to grab my phone so I can call someone or scroll through social media - what an absurd question. NO, I do not want to call anyone when I am getting my hoo-ha waxed. Who would I even call - I mean could you imagine if you got a phone call from me? "Hi...Yeah, I am good just laying on the table getting a Brazilian, what are you up to?!" AWKWARD. Also, you are welcome - I spared you all. Thank me later!

She begins...smother with wax, the wax cools, Hannah rips, I wince, and repeat. The pain was actually tolerable - I would say I have a decent pain tolerance but at the same time... I did cry when I got my mustache threaded last week. I'll leave you to decide my pain tolerance. She worked from the outside in - as you can imagine the pain gets a little more intense the closer in you go but overall I would say it wasn't a bad experience. You don't think that's it do you? ha ha oh no, we still have the backside to wax!

This paragraph is what my friend Lou and I call a HARD RIGHT - There is no real reason to share this information but for some reason we feel it is relevant, so we share. Ever seen the movie Bridesmaids? It is probably my all time FAVORITE. In that movie Kristen Wiig and Maya Rudolph are fighting and yelling about having their a**hole bleached. Not sure why I mentioned that other than, you should watch that movie, plus that was really the only time I ever thought about doing something to my butt at a salon! ha ha just seems too weird to think about.

She waxed my butt, which to my surprise turned out NOT to be painful at all. Finished, my time at Waxing the City is complete. BAM. Mission completed. Cross that off my bucket list.

Note: I do recommend the sugar scrub that she will tell you about after the experience. It's fabulous!

This is me being honest and vulnerable, stepping out of my comfort zone not only to get waxed but to write about it. Since, my experience wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be, (would it be weird if I said it was a good experience?) I decided to talk to my girl friends about it - see if any of them had ever been waxed or had a similar experience. To my surprise, many of my friends have taken the plunge and given it a shot, some go on a regular basis and others said they would never go again. To each their own, I get it.

You've probably heard me say this before but I think this world needs more honesty and truth. Me sharing my experience with my friends has allowed us to uncover a new level of friendship. It is tough being a woman, why should we feel humiliated to talk about things that we all experience, think about, and do? Let's talk more ladies, we all need that tribe of ladies behind you that listen, support, and encourage. We don't need to feel shame. We are strong, beautiful women, perfect just the way God made us, we need to embrace that. We need that tribe of women where we know no matter what we share there will be no judgement. Who is your tribe? Find them, keep them, love them, share with them.

Also, congrats to any man who has read to this point - I was not expecting that. Hopefully, you learned a little something about being a woman!

//October 2020